just the words i needed to hear

so, my life continues to be turned upside down. i truly feel that i am depressed. if this is not depression, i don't know what is! is it bad that someone gave me some anxiety medication....not that i should be taking someone elses meds....but they obviously knew today was a rough day. i am trying to figure out the lesson that God is wanting me to learn. everything happens for a reason...i just hate going thru rough times and not being able to see that reason. it makes life sooo hard.

that being said, i cried today b/c i could not find apartments that will take you on a month to month rental. yes, got all worked up over that. i cried at emily's for unknown reasons...who the hell knows what triggered that crying spell. and then i cried this evening...but it was happy tears. can i just say, i have the sweetest five year old. ryan had a tooth pulled today b/c of a cavity. scott and i were making sure he put it under his pillow so the tooth fairy would bring him money. this was our conversation....

R: "will the tooth fairy still bring me money even though my tooth had a cavity?"
M:"yes, she will. she may not leave as much money but you still lost a tooth, so she will bring you something."
R:"well if she brings me any dollars, i will give them to you so we can buy a house."

tears rolled down my face.....just what i needed to hear.....the sweet innocence of a child. if only things were that easy, ryan, if only things were that easy!

My life is about to be turned upside down!

So i have not blogged in forever. Gosh, i don't even have Christmas 2010 pics posted. so let's get up to speed..... In january, i decided to finally take the plunge and agree to putting house on the market. Yes, we are desperately needing more space but i just love our little starter home! with two growing boys, more toys...and bigger toys, we need the room. scott has wanted to go "out south" for over 2 years. i finally felt that it was ok to move. so mid feb thru first week of march was craziness, trying to get our house ready to be put on the market. alot of late nights! can't thank my dad enough for helping get things done. what would i do without my handy man! house was decluttered. storage unit rented. as we were also preparing to leave for az, we finished the house. we flew out for az march 16....same day the sign went in the yard. fast forward to sunday april 3....18 days later.....house is SOLD! had two offers on teh table. we took the best one, without counter offering b/c they were so close to the asking price. and who is going to offer asking price in this market! i have been shaking ever since. scared to death! now i don't want to leave the home that i know and love. the home that we brought the boys home to. although, they will tell you they want to move to a bigger house. here's the problem...we are homeless as of may 13th. a very fast close! we are going to look at houses tonight. there is one we really like, although don't want to spend quite that amount, and there is a possible offer on the table. i always believe everything happens for a reason....we will see if that house was destined for us! and then i get worked up thinking of money! why did my parents raise me so well? why did htey raise me so money conscience? i thank them for it all the time....but it's hard to let go of a big lump sum of money. as one coworker tells me, "sara, i often wonder if there is a little old lady living inside of you, who grew up in the drepression." i will make comments at work and she will say "see, there's that little old lady." all will be well....it has to be, right? i am counting my blessings. there are so many people that would love to sell their house in 2 1/2 weeks...and get almost full asking price....or have multiple offers to choose from. the timing coul not be more perfect. the week of may 14 is ryan's last week of preschool so that works out well. i will just have to drive from "out south" for one week. then we will be able to be at home an unpack....if we find a house :) prayers please! prayers are good. i am so thankful yet say prayers for the unknown. it can be so scary. i don't do well with change. but i know our new house will become our home. as long as we have each other, we will be ok. we will settle in to a new school, a new area, and scott and i will make sure we make it fun for the boys. let's just hope there are lots of neighbor kids!!!